Public Love

Why is it that it's acceptable to publicly display anger, hate, disappointment, dissent, and other similar emotions, yet some find it inappropriate to publicly display love? Correction: romantic love. And when I say publicly declare, in this context, I mean your choice of social media weapons; Facebook, Twitter, Bebo, MySpace, Friendster (is that still going?), you get the picture.

It's cute to publicly declare love for your niece / nephew / godson / goddaughter / little cousin / any other being who doesn't yet know what a penis can really do.

It's heartwarming to publicly declare love for your grandparents / parents / aunts / uncles / other family members who will fill up the seats at your wedding, regardless of whether you want them there or not.

It's sweet to publicly declare love for your immediate family and close friends.

It's nauseating to publicly declare love for your other half. The exception here is if you just got engaged, married or are speaking at your wedding itself.

Is romantic love something we should all hide, like underwear, only to be revealed behind closed doors? Is love purer if kept between two people, undiluted by the perception of others? I certainly don't think so. Perhaps, it is because it makes others feel excluded, that they cannot or should not comment on your declaration of love. Hence, it's deemed an anti-social action in social media. I'm just trying to dissect the possibilities here.

The hidden romantic in me believes that love is something that should be celebrated, and if you are lucky enough to have found it, then hell, why not shout about it? You gloat shamelessly when your team puts a ball in the net. So why not gloat shamelessly about your happiness?

Because before you found this happiness, you bet your ass you went through a lot of shit to get there. The heartbreaks, tears, unsent letters you wrote but didn't have the guts to send, the jealousy, the developments of stalking skills equivalent of a PI, the bi-polar moments of "I hate you, fucktard!" to "Why did you leave me?", the "Let's just be friends. It's not you, it's me. No, wait. It's you, not me. Haha." Okay, I'm going off tangent here. That didn't really happen. I'm just sayin'...

So why do we sometimes feel the impulse to publish love notes on Facebook? It's simple.

When a guy does it, to put it simply, he's saying, "I want the world to know I am yours and I don't mind other women knowing."

When a girl does it, to put it simply, she's saying, "I want the world to know you are mine, and mine only. Stay away bitches."

Okay. So maybe all that 'let's celebrate love' was just bullshit. No, but seriously. It's just another way to make your other half feel appreciated and loved, and being claimed under their 'territory' is like a signboard that says, "You belong here." And that's why we search the world over for that perfect partner, no? That sense of belonging, with the person we can look at and feel like you're home.