the little chase

i had the most bizarre dream a couple of nights ago. it was the kind of dream that seemed normal until you wake up. once i opened my eyes and ran through the dream again, i couldn't help but giggle.

me: "guess what i dreamt about?"
alvin: *probably thinking "here we go again"* "what?"
me: "i got chased by a midget!"

alvin paused. then he laughed.

i had just driven into the carpark of a shopping center and i was ambitiously trying to reverse park. i kinda scraped the car beside me, but, it was such a minor scrape i figured i'd just pretend nothing happened.

then as i walked into the mall, a couple of guys were loitering around. one of them was a midget and he decided to follow me around. i got annoyed so i turned into a corridor and see whether he would continue following.

he did.

i turned around and spat, "wat the fuck is your problem?" and continued walking towards the stationery section in an attempt to lose him amongst the stationary shelves. i spotted william and alvin and ran to them.

the rest isn't really worth mentioning.

so yes. i was chased by a midget.

of disease, scorpions and floating printers

i had a string of stressful dreams resulting in me waking up super tense with a stiff neck.

dream 1:
alvin had a huge lump growing on his palm and it was painful so he went to see a doctor about it. he was diagnosed with myglucoma (something i made up entirely in my dream). the lump was like a huge boil but hard. inside was trapped urine. don't ask me how urine gets trapped in your hand.

the doctor told him not to have any physical contact with anyone in case he passed it on. but those with hepatitis were exempted. so i was ecstatic, because i have hep b. the doctor bandaged his hand and i helped look after him, feeding him his meds and making sure he ate the right food.

dream 2:
alvin and i were in the room and i saw a scorpion-like thing zipping past on the floor incredibly fast. i panicked and prodded alvin. "is that a scorpion??" he looked and for awhile he couldn't see anything against the brown tiles. then it moved again and he started flicking his towel at it.

the scorpion flew upwards and landed on alvin's face. i wanted to scream but alvin told me to stay calm and still so it wouldn't sting. then the scorpion jumped and landed on my face. i really panicked then but managed to remain still. i didn't want the nasty bugger to sink his stinger into me. and i closed my eyes waiting for it to get off.

it felt like forever. and ever. and then i opened my eyes and it was gone.

dream 3:
i was at a pier with ships all around. i was stranded. the ship i was supposed to be on had left and it was moving towards the horizon. i had to find someone who could take me to that ship so i asked this old, dodgy, pirate-looking man if he would help me.

he said he'd take me as long as i held on tight and didn't let go, because he wasn't responsible for me. he pointed at a row of printers tied to each other with an orange piece of rope floating in the sea. the printers were being towed by his boat.

so i said okay. he started his boat and i held on to one of the printers for dear life. the rope kept slipping off the printer and i had to try to keep looping it back over the printer, otherwise i'd find myself stranded in the middle of the sea. after awhile, i realised we were heading in the opposite direction of the ship i was supposed to get on!!

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STREEEESSSSSSS.

i can still see that bloody scorpion zipping across the floor like a ghost.

i'm going shoe shopping tonight. retail therapy.