My online portfolio is finally live. It's been a time consuming process, mostly due to the fact that I can be so fickle when it comes to the customising. In the end, I decided to keep it clean and minimalist, but chose strong, bold colours.
I LIKE PINK AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.
I should put that on the site. Hmm. Anyway, here it is.
So. Here's the thing I don't get: men sneaking around behind their partner's backs. And I'm not talking about men sneaking around to sleep with other women. Because that's just plain cheating in anyone's books, even if the relationship is as open as Paris Hilton's legs.
I mean things like smoking behind your partner's back, lying about going for a drink with your close friends of the opposite sex (and I'm not talking about 'special friends'), telling her you're going for a 'work function' when you're really going to the strip club with the boys. That kind of sneaking around.
I remember having a conversation with Justin on this topic quite awhile ago. It went something along these lines.
"Why do some men feel that they have to sneak around behind their girlfriends' backs, or lie about something that they've done?"
"Because sometimes, it's better for you not to know. And as much as they say 'honesty is the best policy', you women don't appreciate it when we tell you the truth. We still get into deep shit for it. If a woman told a man about something he had done, he would appreciate her honesty. Women get pissed if you tell them. And they get pissed if you don't. So might as well not tell her."
"Well, would you tell me if you did something?"
"Would you want to know?"
"Of course I would want to know."
"What if you can't handle the truth?"
"Then it's probably something you shouldn't have done in the first place." "Good point."
I don't think some people realise the simple truth. Sneaking is cheating. If you're hiding something, you're probably hiding it for a reason. You'll probably say, you're protecting her by not telling her, but really, you're just protecting your own balls. Although, in situations like this, I'd say you don't have any, or probably don't deserve to have any.
I'm not saying you should have your balls (I seem to be liking that word today) chained to your woman, unless bondage is your thing. In which case, go all out. But, have enough respect for her to not sneak around behind her back. Aren't relationships about compromise? Of course, when a woman says "Let's compromise", she really means, "It's my way, or you can join the Rascal Flatts on the highway." Jokes aside, if it's something that can't be compromised, then she probably has a good reason for it. Unless she's as reasonable as Naomi Campbell on cocaine, in which case, you should just make your life easier and dump her ass anyway.
If you respect her and care enough about her feelings, whatever it is you're sneaking around for probably isn't worth risking the relationship. So before you embark on your misadventures, just think, is one night of fun worth two weeks of hell? You'd be lucky if it only lasted two weeks, really. The silent treatment, plate-throwing, death stares, abrupt outbursts of emotions, knife-sharpening. And then you wonder why you've got the runs after eating that scrumptious stew she just made for you.
Sure, we women do our fair share of sneaking around. We don't tell you how much we REALLY spent shopping online at Asos. Or that we weren't really just having coffee, but come on, Sass & Bide clearance sale? Hellooooo? See. The difference with our sneaking around is, it just breaks the bank. Not a relationship. Well, unless we max out all your credit cards, and you find that your savings account went from five zeros to one because we just haaaad to have that Hermés Birkin bag. That would break any normal middle-income relationship.
The topic of strip clubs came up in conversation with a couple of girl friends. They said they don't mind their partners going to the strip club. I was surprised and intrigued. I'm selfish like that. My man belongs to me, his eyes belong on me, and his ermm... belongs in me. If I wanted to share, I'd make him a gigolo and take 30%.
So I asked, "How is it that you don't mind your men going to the strip clubs?" They said their men belong to the small minority who don't see the point in it. That's not to say that they don't like it. They're just not that keen on it.
Which got me thinking. It's true. I didn't mind the idea of my exes going to the strip club, because I knew it just wasn't really their thing. One of the girls then quipped, "Actually, that's true. I didn't like my ex going to the strip club because he was the type who liked it."
And I realised, it's not about the strip club, it's about the intentions. Kind of like how you wouldn't mind giving your wife your credit card if you knew she hates shopping, but you wouldn't let her hold it for a second if she was anything like, well, me.
Sadly, I know a few guys who sneak out to the strip club without the knowledge of their partners. Truthfully, I find it grotesquely disrespectful. Not because they're going to the strip club, but because they're doing it with the knowledge that it would upset and hurt their partner. That's basically saying, "You are the sun, the moon, the light of my life, but naked chicks are more important to me than you, my love."
Bottom line. Russell Peter's got the right idea. "Be a man. Do the right thing." If you're sneakin', you're cheatin'.
Why is it that it's acceptable to publicly display anger, hate, disappointment, dissent, and other similar emotions, yet some find it inappropriate to publicly display love? Correction: romantic love. And when I say publicly declare, in this context, I mean your choice of social media weapons; Facebook, Twitter, Bebo, MySpace, Friendster (is that still going?), you get the picture.
It's cute to publicly declare love for your niece / nephew / godson / goddaughter / little cousin / any other being who doesn't yet know what a penis can really do.
It's heartwarming to publicly declare love for your grandparents / parents / aunts / uncles / other family members who will fill up the seats at your wedding, regardless of whether you want them there or not.
It's sweet to publicly declare love for your immediate family and close friends.
It's nauseating to publicly declare love for your other half. The exception here is if you just got engaged, married or are speaking at your wedding itself.
Is romantic love something we should all hide, like underwear, only to be revealed behind closed doors? Is love purer if kept between two people, undiluted by the perception of others? I certainly don't think so. Perhaps, it is because it makes others feel excluded, that they cannot or should not comment on your declaration of love. Hence, it's deemed an anti-social action in social media. I'm just trying to dissect the possibilities here.
The hidden romantic in me believes that love is something that should be celebrated, and if you are lucky enough to have found it, then hell, why not shout about it? You gloat shamelessly when your team puts a ball in the net. So why not gloat shamelessly about your happiness?
Because before you found this happiness, you bet your ass you went through a lot of shit to get there. The heartbreaks, tears, unsent letters you wrote but didn't have the guts to send, the jealousy, the developments of stalking skills equivalent of a PI, the bi-polar moments of "I hate you, fucktard!" to "Why did you leave me?", the "Let's just be friends. It's not you, it's me. No, wait. It's you, not me. Haha." Okay, I'm going off tangent here. That didn't really happen. I'm just sayin'...
So why do we sometimes feel the impulse to publish love notes on Facebook? It's simple.
When a guy does it, to put it simply, he's saying, "I want the world to know I am yours and I don't mind other women knowing."
When a girl does it, to put it simply, she's saying, "I want the world to know you are mine, and mine only. Stay away bitches."
Okay. So maybe all that 'let's celebrate love' was just bullshit. No, but seriously. It's just another way to make your other half feel appreciated and loved, and being claimed under their 'territory' is like a signboard that says, "You belong here." And that's why we search the world over for that perfect partner, no? That sense of belonging, with the person we can look at and feel like you're home.
Do you ever ponder over how the weather has the ability to affect us so? While the wind is howling outside, whipping tree branches mercilessly, and the rain lashes in the face of the determined or those without a choice (suckers!), all I want to do is stay in bed all day with a hot mug of hot chocolate, someone to cuddle to and a good movie / book. The thought of trying to do any more than that just seems like too much effort.
There was absolutely no point to that entire paragraph. If you did not notice, this post is titled Random Friday, for a reason.
While soothing my cold body with warm, spicy kimchi soup during lunch with Justin, I was telling him how my record of Vietnamese 'pho' demolition in a day was five bowls. He gave me this look: -___-"
"What?? That was in a whole day, okay. From 12pm - 8pm. Five bowls isn't thaaat much..."
Okay, to be honest, it was more like between 2pm to 8pm, but whatever. Minor details. Pfffft.
I am totally loving the new Behance ProSite. I think it's about time they finally launched it, and I must applaud the fantastic job they've done with it.
Some of you are probably wondering what planet I'm on, and what language I'm speaking. Behance is a platform for all creative people to display your work to the community, and anyone else who's interested enough to browse through. They've finally come up with a highly customisable site, for which you pay a low price to publish online.
I'm having a ton of fun with it right now. These are examples of what you can come up with:
I'm very excited with the possibilities.
Okay. Time for the highlight of my day; Justin coming home from work.