the stag night trap

most men see their stag night as their last taste of freedom before getting married. kind of like a man on death penalty getting his last wish. personally, i think most men believe it's a get-out-of-jail-free card to cheat.

this goes back to my post about 'the sum of men and alcohol'. give a man a load of booze, get his testosterone raging, throw some strippers / hookers into the picture and you can imagine what's likely to happen. men think we're unreasonable when we say we don't approve of strippers in the picture. i quote a friend, "well, you've already paid for their services. might as well use them! there are only two men they will screw. the one who knows the strippers, and the groom-to-be." and you wonder why women have no faith in men.

it's not so much the fact that there are naked women shoving their tits in your face, rubbing their vajayjays in your face and putting your hands on their bodies. okay, i lie. it kind of is. but what is more disturbing are the possibilities of things going beyond that. this is when 'bros' make a sacred pact to never reveal anything to the hen and her counterparts.

the only reason men ever tell their soon-to-be wives they can go wild and have as much fun as they want, is because they want the ticket to do the same. only difference is, men are more likely to go way over the line. chances are, a woman's 'wild night out' probably involves a male stripper dressed unconvincingly as a police officer and swinging his schlong in her face (which, trust me, does not quite evoke the same response as tits in a man's face) and running around town being picked up by random men. and that's really about it.

a little fun doesn't hurt, and we understand that. hell, we aren't going to be absolute angels on our hen's night either. but don't forget, boys. while you're enjoying another woman's body, you're disrespecting the woman you have asked to put up with you for the rest of her life. and when you're suffering from erectile dysfunction, she's the one who will still be there for you (you'd hope, anyway).

my advice? don't start a marriage built on a lie. and don't do anything you'd have to lie about. if you do, don't be stupid enough to go on 'Stag: A Test of Love".

side note: i'm really not on a man-attacking rampage, though it might seem like it. you can blame Dexter for this post. the scene of his stag night got me thinking and brought out the raging feminist in me.