Lisha's Good Food Guide

No. I am sorry. I am not about to post up a whole list of recommended places to eat. I'm not feeling that selfless today. Instead, I'm talking about me. After all, this whole thing is about me, isn't it?

Every now and then, I get people asking me about my strange and complex food preferences. So I decided to have a little think of it, and came up with a little guideline for my psychoanal tastebuds.

Chilli Queen
I believe tabasco, chili and sambal are gods of their own. Rarely do I eat a meal that does not involve me adding some form of chili to it.

1. Oysters are almost never to be eaten without tabasco.
2. Neither should pasta and pizza. So, shoot me, Italiano. You say, "That is an insult!" I say, "Franculo."
3. Sambal belacan is a must for all forms of fried rice, even if it's belacan fried rice or tom yum fried rice.
4. Soup noodles must be accompanied by some form of chili, and it has to be the right kind of chili. Don't give me pickled green chili for 'pan mee'. I keeel you.

Fish Are Your Friends. Not Food.
When people ask, "Do you eat fish?", I find this difficult to answer. I generally go with, "Only if it's not fishy." This section ties in closely with the above.

1. Deep fried fish is generally okay, especially when there's chili or sambal to accompany it. Fish & chips are an exception - tartare sauce is accepted.
2. Steamed fish really depends on the sauce, but no matter how awesome, still requires fresh cut chili to go with it.
3. Raw fish is A-okay, with wasabi, of course.
4. Anything made of fish (fish cake, fish noodles, fish balls, fish paste, what-the-fish) can go into the next bowl, thank you. For this reason, steamboats are not a particular favourite of mine unless I get to order additional meat.

Condimental Meals
I believe:

1. Fries should go with chili sauce, or aioli sauce. Mayonnaise just doesn't cut it.
2. Laksa should always have a squeeze of lime.
3. Nasi lemak should only be wrapped in a packet, not served on a plate or packed in a styrofoam box. What's with that? Did you run out of banana leaves? Grow more trees, goddammit!
4. Pies and pasties can't be eaten without tomato sauce. I'm Aussie like that, I apologise.
5. You can't have chocolate mud cake or a brownie without some ice-cream or cream. I go for both because I'm an unabashed glutton.

Sweet & Savoury
I am simple. Your main course is meant to be savoury, and dessert is meant to be sweet. Don't screw with the simplicity of that.

1. Sweet & sour. One word - gross.
2. Savoury pancakes & crepes is something I have yet to be able to bring myself to order. It just seems so unnatural. It's like a chimpanzee trying to be a house cat - confused.
3. Cheese platters as dessert is something I have yet to comprehend. It's like rolling me in mud, and then giving me a mud bar to wash it off. It doesn't make sense.

That's just a little preview. I love my food, and I am not afraid to love it a certain way. Fusspot, I am. But I promise I won't pull out a gun on you if things don't go my way. It'd be too heavy in my purse, anyway.