Anal, much?

Time and time again, I've been called 'anal' or 'OCD', much to my objection. I prefer the words 'organised' or 'neat', except that it's sometimes organised chaos as opposed to freakishly neat.

I mean, what's wrong with counting the sheets of toilet paper before tearing it off and folding it neatly according to the perforated lines? Or, arranging jars & bottles so that their labels always face outwards, and in accordance to height? I don't see anything wrong with washing my hands 20 times a day (hygiene, duh). Or even, segregating my food into neat sections so that they don't touch, my rice remains in a neat little circle, my food looks presentable and the sauces don't mix, goddammit! Okay. I admit, maybe that last one is just a teeny little overboard.

We all have our little idiosyncrasies. I know someone who plans out her wardrobe colours for every day of the entire year in her little journal. I find that somewhat sickeningly disturbing. And no, she's not a Virgo.

My point is, I did not think I was anal. Until just now, when I was in the midst of putting away all my folded laundry and realised, "Holy shit. I categorise my underwear. Is that normal?" I have one of those drawer organiser boxes, and I'm afraid I do arrange my underwear, according to types - the boylegs, the bikinis, the cheekies, the laceys and the thongs.

I also organise my socks according to type. If you're thinking to yourself, "There are sock types?", you have much to learn. Of course there are different sock types. In the world of Lisha, there are the wooly Explorer socks, crew socks, ankle socks, sports socks, dress socks and leg warmers.

With this realisation, I'm slowly starting to see the light. The bright flashing neon light that screams 'ANAL'. The kind you see outside seedy strip clubs. Except, if you saw this sign outside a strip club, it's an entirely different meaning altogether. Don't ask me why I always steer the topic to sexually related matters. It's a talent.

So yes. To my dearest Justin, whom I will be moving in with in the near future, you and I can be the freakish anal couple everyone finds crazily weird. Sweet anal love. There, I did it again!

fancy some keratin for breakfast?

while getting ready to go to work this morning, i got a call from PowderQueenBryan asking whether i wanted nasi lemak.

i haven't had much nasi lemak since i banned myself from it, so i was looking forward to the lovely spicy sambal and fragrant rice.

when i opened the packet, the first thing that caught my eye was a tiny length of hair - probably an eyelash - which i figured i could safely ignore. then i stuck my spoon in and noticed something else... a long strand of hair entangled in the rice!

so i got both eyelash AND hair! man... whoever was packing it must be having hair loss problem or something. i was quite put off the nasi lemak by then and decided to skip it.

sigh. there went my breakfast. i really didn't fancy having keratin for breakfast.

for all you know, the person could have lice!
or hadn't washed their hair in a week.
or had been sweating all morning while cooking the nasi lemak and the sweat covered strand of hair fell in.

katherine added in
"maybe you got some cibai hair in there too!"

yuck.

Introducing the POOem

every relationship has their idiosyncrasies and quirks that make it special.

alvin and i share our relationship with the toilet bowl fairly intimately. when either one of us is gracing the throne with our bottoms, we sms each other POOems.

not poems, but POOems.

today's POOem from me to him:

A banana a day makes your stomach give way.
It makes you want to say,
“It’s shit time, dey!”
So have you had YOUR banana today?

romance with a twist.

i've got my bottom covered

my mother is back in town.

alvin and i went to pick her and paul up from KLIA and brought them out for supper. in the car she handed me two plastic bags of things i had requested for from australia - bonds underwear and jewellery supplies.

"are fifteen undies enough for you?"
"FIFTEEN?!?! why did you buy so many?"
"well... you sounded desperate!"

-_- that's my mother for you.

party in your jammy

as promised... some of the (many many many) pics. i ain't got no photoshop right now so all the pics are in its original form. aight.

if u want any of the pics removed for good reason, just let me know. there are some priceless moments caught in stills. *grin*

ons

pimpdaddy brian

"let's see if your muscle is still so big when i pull your armpit hair!"

anrie is the hottest photographer

so man!

old folks unite - yue neng & brian

birthday boy & i

david and one of his many 'natural' poses

absolutly alcoholic

we had a mini series in still shots going on. i think it needs no explanation...


the end of mini series

bradders in pyjamas

david's natural pose #215

high-waisted is like, sooooo in right now.

stu, shean, mike, ons, dave, jo, big B & birdbird

me & stu

joanna & b

geisha girl

oh, out comes the tongue again.

poor johan was pinned down and tickled while they all forced him to whistle.

mike & david pretending they're tag heuer models?

the cake says, "happy birthday hunny bunny!"

brian & i

cheers!

doncha wish you had this many chicks in your bed? joanne, cindy, audrey, me & anrie

yue neng gets a taste of a night in hugh hefner's life

the result of viagra

the result of a penis enlargement

the result of too much alcohol

i've got a penis

i'm serious. i do. i told alvin about it on msn.

lisha: i have a penis
alvin: .....
lisha: really baby
alvin: uh oh
lisha: but it's kinda small...
alvin: oh well
alvin: looks like u dont need a local object anymore
lisha: wat should i do with it?
alvin: tuck it in somewhere
lisha: is that what you do?
alvin: i was born with it
lisha: true true... well... mine is really hard. it's like wood. it's brown too...
alvin: thats wierd, cos u are a fair girl
alvin: hmm this is truly a mystery
lisha: indeed....
lisha: my colleague gave me a penis keychain from bali
lisha: i've got an imported woodie
alvin: so it is a foreign object

only he can layan my nonsense. because he's full of even more nonsense!!

speaking of nonsense... i had a truly nonsense dream a couple of nights ago.

i caught a man who had somehow violated a girl. i caught him with every intention of getting revenge on her behalf. i tied him to a chair and the girl sat next to him as i cut off his ears, hacking away slowly. i threw them aside and he yelled "i can't hear! i can't hear!"

gee. really?

i simply laughed at him and was thoroughly enjoying myself. i cut out plastic ears from cups and placed it over where his ears were, as makeshift ears.

sick, bizarre, psycho dream. probably my all my repressed anger bubbling up in my subconscious. don't play play yo. i'm the next Jigsaw (from the movie SAW).

let's play dress-ups!!

warning: for bimbos only.

i've just discovered this awesome site - polyvore

you get to do up your own styling moodboard, publish it, see other people's work and the choices are almost seemingly endless. it's like having a fantasy wardrobe at your disposal!!

bliss.

this is my first attempt. and of course, i decided on a colour theme none other than.... yellow!! if you guessed correctly, it just shows how well you know me.



i foresee many many hours spent lying here playing dress-ups. *big grin*

bimbo-nation

i just bought season one of girls next door. for those who haven't heard of it, girls next door revolves around the lives of hugh hefner's girlfriends and their lives in the oh-so-famous Playboy mansion.



i just finished watching the first disc. my brain hurts after watching it. after each episode, you need to take a five minute break or i swear, you'll start talking like them. it's incredibly brainless. the things they say really crack me up.

"people laugh at my sleep diet."
"what's a sleep diet?"
"you sleep. and when you're sleeping, you don't think about eating. you skip breakfast. you skip lunch. you wake up and you're skinny!"

*bang head on table*
_________________________

i went to get my blood test done this morning, which was way overdue. i completely forgot i had to do a urine test as well. so i didn't bother drinking any water before leaving the house.

they gave me the container and showed to me to the toilet. it was a squat toilet. i drank one glass of water (which is alot by my standards). in i went.

five minutes later, out i came.

"can we do the blood test first? i can't pee."
"sure."

after he took my blood, i gave it another try. i drank TWO more glasses of water. in i went.

ten minutes later, i came out.

"i still can't pee!! this is all i have!" i waved the container around, swirling the pitiful amount of urine in it.

"umm... i think it should be enough," the guy looked at me in amusement.
_________________________

since last weekend, i've developed some weird itchy bumps all over my mid-torso down to my thighs. they look like bites and they itch like hell at night. at first, there were only a few. now they're spread all over!

i need to get rid of it quick before i go to PD and Krabi! imagine me strutting around in an itsy bitsy bikini, displaying my lovely rashes. i don't think people will appreciate the exhibition, somehow.

survey friday

1. Like to walk under the rain?
- not particularly

2. Sleep with or without clothes on?
- depends. is it 'happy time' night?

3. Prefer black or blue pens?
- thick and black. and i'm talking about pens.

4. Like to travel?
- hell yea. i'd love to be paid to travel.

5. Do u like someone?
- i have to like him to love him, i suppose.

6. Do he/she know?
- i think he has an inkling.

7. Think you're attractive?
- depends on the day. sometimes i think i'm jessica alba... until i look into a mirror.

8. Want to marry??
- i think so... eventually... when i'm ready.

9. To who?
- someone tall, rich, smart and handsome. so... i guess i'm never getting married.

10. Alaska or Hawaii?
- definitely hawaii.

11. Are you a good person?
- depends whom to.

12. Are you currently in a relationship?
- yes

13. Colored or black-and-white photo?
- depends on the photo.

14. Do long distance relationships work?
- no. no. no. trust me.

15. Do you believe in astrology?
- no but i like reading about it.

16. Do you believe in God?
- i'm not sure and i don't know if i'll ever be.

17. Do you believe in love at first sight?
- nope. you can't love what you don't know.

18. Do you consider yourself the life of the party?
- i'm the quiet one. until i start drinking and skanking.

19. Are u an outgoing person?
- i don't think so...

20. Do you have a job?
- yes. unfortunately, i need one.

21. Do you make fun of other people?
- all the time... to their faces.

22. Do you think dreams eventually come true?
- well... depends on the dream. the dream could be eating durian gelati on a summer's day. or it could be wanting to be paid to eat and sleep.

23. Chocolates or Candy?
- chocolates

24. Favorite food?
- good food.

25. Go to the movies or rent?
- both, depending on the movie, and the mood.

26. How's the weather right now?
- dark and wet.

27. Hug or kiss?
- hugs all the way.

28. Last person you talked to on the phone?
- sexophil

29. Last time you showered?
- not long ago. wanna smell me?

30. Loud or soft music?
- depends on the music

31. McDonalds or Burger King?
- hmmm.... that's a tough one. mushroom swiss or spicy mcchicken?

32. More romantic? Baths or shower?
- definitely... baths. as long as he doesn't drown.

33. Night or day?
- night

34. Number of pillows on your bed?
- 2

35. Piano or guitar?
- both. together. but guitarists are way sexier.

trauma

my boss made me cry today.

he didn't fire me. he didn't yell at me. he didn't throw my work out the window. no. he traumatised me.

i was sitting on the window ledge by cinatan's desk chatting away with jen and cinatan when sabine casually comments, "there's a cockroach in the pot plant."

we all looked into the pot plant but saw nothing. i started to get abit edgy and eyed the plant warily. my boss, KK, strolls in and lies down on the window ledge feeling restless as usual. he starts playing with the pot plant.

"don't do that! there's a cockroach in there!" i yelled.
"oh really?" kk proceeds to tilt the pot plant and starts to flick pebbles out of the pot with a plastic rod.
"K! if that cockroach comes here, i'm going to scream!"
"oh look! the cockroach!" he quickly flicks it at my face.

i screamed.

and i broke into nervous laughter and started tearing at the same time. he didn't flick the cockroach at me but a pebble.

"oh shit. i'm sorry!"

i was half sobbing from the trauma and half-laughing because i knew how stupid i looked. tears were streaming down my face and i couldn't breathe.

"eh... is she crying or laughing? eh, you ok a? is she laughing or is she crying?"

it's not the first time i've screamed in the office. i'm somewhat famous for it now.

i'm the girl who screams.

a new member

introducing lisha simpson...

man am i ugly.

as much as a non-fan i am, the website is quite fun. you can create your own avatar and save your characters.

this is what i have turned into. some kind of lame geek who seeks fun in recreating herself as ugly cartoon characters.

wouldn't mind having lashes that long though. i could take off and fly around the world just by batting them.

and we have LIFT OFF people!!

ok. i officially belong in the nuthouse now.

transformed!

i was utterly, totally, completely awed. it really blew my mind. i have not been so wowed by a movie since V for Vendetta. partly because i wasn't really expecting much. i don't remember much of the cartoons except optimus prime and the decepticons - thanks to jin min.

it was just soooo... sooooo.... soooooooooooo COOOOOL!! right after the movie, i turned to alvin.

"i want to watch it again!"
"haha."
"no. really. i want to watch it again in the cinema!"
"oh. ok. we'll watch it again."

this is coming from the girl who sang the transformers song really loudly, and rather shamelessly, in the office one day not so long ago.

"TRANSFORMERS!! Robots in the skkkkiiieeeesssss!!"

my colleague looked at me in disdain and snapped at me.

"it's not robots in the skies!! it's robots in disguise!" he rolled his eyes with the most offended expression plastered on his face.

"oh. hee hee. TRANSFORMERS!! More than meets the eeeeyyyyeeee!! TRANSFORMERS!! Robots in the ski... Robots in DISGUIIIISSSEEEE!!"

my boss just laughed at me.

i can't wait to watch it again!! *bouncing in chair*

mothology

i had another moth episode today.

i was happily munching on lychees at bambi's watching grey's anatomy and a moth comes spiralling down at dangerous speeds, landing RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME... and it had the NERVE to flail its fragile wings like a damsel in distress waving her handkerchief for help.

naturally, i jumped to my feet, screamed and ran in the opposite direction, laughing and crying at the same time. laughing because i knew how absurd the situation was, and crying because i got that scared.

i think i freaked jon out (bambi's brother).

i think moths have this inane ability to sense fear. just as they are drawn to the light, they are drawn to me because they KNOW i fear them. and they abuse that power. bastards.

ok. back to grey's anatomy. season three. episode nine.

CLM potential

oh. my. god.

i just had a conversation on msn with my colleague and throughout the whole time she was saying really weird lesbo/boobie/naked comments but i didn't think anything of it.

turns out it was my boss.

lucky lucky lucky i didn't say anything bad about him!! that would have been a rather big CLM (career limiting move)!!!

i feel like whacking him on the head. yes, i should.

the crybaby award goes to..... *drumroll*

ME!!

the night before i left for melbourne, alvin and i crept downstairs to rummage for some supper quietly, so as not to wake anyone up. on the way down the stairs, i spotted a huge moth. i froze.

he turned to look at me.

"babe? what are you doing?"
i pointed, eyes wide in fear, "moth."
"so?"
"moth!!" as if that one word is enough to explain everything.
"just come down la."

the moth was sitting still on the wall tapestry, so i decided to creep down the stairs past it. eyeing it like a mouse eyes a sleeping cat, i moved slowly. down the stairs. closer. closer. and then...

the moth flew precariously towards my face. suppressing a scream, i panicked and burst into tears and ran down the stairs.

"babe? are you okay?"
he hugged me while i sobbed like a baby.

"you're crying over a moth?" he laughed.
"shut up."
"can't believe you're crying because of a MOTH!"
"shut up!!"

we continued our search for food in the stillness of the night.

_____________

i have an insane fear of moths. and flying birds. but birds are fine because they generally don't fly at you. moths, on the other hand, are fuckers who don't know how to fly properly. they don't even flutter graciously. they flap hopelessly and unpredictably in any direction.

flying cockroaches are even worse.
_____________

i'm already sick of packing and i've barely started. been busy stocktaking, sorting what needs to be kept and what i can bear to throw out/give away. clearing my shit off shelves and desks to take photos to post up for sale.

in fact, i UNPACKED a box yesterday. i still have stuff in boxes from my previous move to the apartment. i move faster than i can unpack. -_- not good.

being in the apartment brings back a flood of memories. overweight emotional baggage and guilt throw themselves at me. so i continue to focus on packing. pack. pack. pack. don't think. just pack.